Leadership Program: Thoughts Part 2

“Work/Life Balance”

It’s nirvana for corporate climbers but perhaps ceded all but by the best corporate successes. An angle on it would be that to improve one’s standard of living, it is necessary to work very, very hard to achieve “corporate somethingness”. This may require some sacrifice of some present family time for the monetary reward. But as the climber grows more giddy with the air, it becomes even more necessary to stay away, since the demands of seniority requires dedication and application. Family time comes second.

So, the goal of achieving balance is so difficult to achieve. The way out? I’m not sure, but having an employer with the right attitudes is perhaps the best start.

Where I am at the moment, well, there’s potential.

Changing times

Just when I was getting comfortable on the new role, my manager has a quiet chat with me. During a recent overseas trip back home, he had put an offer on a house. This was quickly accepted by the seller and his plans to return to his native land are now accelerated.

So, my short stint with him is all I get. It’s such a pity – I have enormous respect for him and working with him was a big factor in my move. Such is corporate life.

The First Month

So, a month has passed and in no particular order, this is what I’ve done in my new job thus far:

• hired someone – I needed an analyst to assist with the heavy number crunching that is my corporate existence
• been busy without being productive – basically, spinning my wheels and getting to know the demands of the role and saying yes to a lot of people (with the caveat that it may just take a little while to deliver)
• beckoned to the corner office to meet the MD – yes, I broke out in a cold sweat knowing that this guy could call me anytime to ask for analysis on basically ANYTHING

All in all, it’s been a good month. I feel valued and have been keeping my superiors happy. It’s the corporate way, I suppose.

What Happens When You’re Happy?

Shifting to this new job has been emancipating. I feel like I belong in this group and they value what I have to give. This sense of worth has kept me in this organization. I don’t feel as anxious about being here.

Now that the anger has subsided, what next? I had found that hatred had been my fuel for much of the last year. With that gone, I’m strangely empty. It’s as if your greatest nemesis has decided that you are the bigger and better person, leaving you sole possession of the field.

This is a good thing, I’m sure.

Week 1 – The New Seat

Okay, I’ve moved into my new seat and things are rosy. I’m energized by the structure of my job – I have clear areas of responsibility and know what’s expected of me. In my previous role, much of my energies were devoted to inventing work instead of doing work. Instead of using my imagination on finding ways to become busy, I AM busy.

After two years in the corporate wilderness, I am finding work stimulating and it helps that this new batch of people around me are supportive, interesting, and fun to be with.

Here’s to more weeks like this!

Soul Destroying

 

Okay, I hate my job. I’m trying my best to get out – using networks, agencies, websites, the works. Even then, it takes time. There are a lot of dead ends and the last thing I want is to end up in another job I hate.

Until the magic day arrives, I need to put up with my lot, even though at times that is soul destroying. Sometimes it’s difficult to keep a perspective, given that my day usually goes like this:

Wake up. Feed baby. Give lots of kisses because I need the strength. Hug wife.

Slowly simmer between the front door and the walk to the train station, thinking about the job, not knowing exactly what I do (my job description, hopelessly out of date, is under review) and where, if any, my next step in the company could be.

Work up to a vigorous simmer as I slide through the revolving door. Gads, I don’t even like these people I work with. The have no moral compass and are willing to lie, cheat, and deal their way through the corporaton. They are smarmy, uncouth and cause much loathing.

Boil at my desk, thinking how I’m doing totally pointless things, not advancing my knowledge or even perhaps contributing anything to the glorious organization. Even my missives towards my manager are treated like a child’s entreaties. I often suspect that they may be waiting me out, unwilling to apply my resource to any meaningful task.

Then, comes the crucial part: what I can do to get me through to lunch. 

At lunch, drag things out. Go for a long walk, then visit office chums. Complain. Think of things that would get me through to 5pm. Usually involving printing novels I want to read (only those under Creative Commons licenses, of course). Bind them, time permitting.

5pm. Leave. Think of my beautiful boy and lovely wife and how the nights are too short and that the whole charade has to be repeated tomorrow.

The Vicious Cycle: Being Bitter At Work Doesn’t Make Things Better

My current job has no real description. The work is mostly to do with numbers: how they can be made a better shade of black and how they can be re-engineered into a pretty graph or poignant table in a presentation. I know I’m good at this. My problem is that I’ve been doing it for a few years and I really don’t know where it’s going to take me. I’ve been cast into a familiar groove (“the numbers guy”) by the powers that be and it is making me bitter.

I guess it all started when I was able to convince my superiors that I needed a job with more adventure; looking at uncharted areas and pioneer a new view for the company. I guess I could talk about these dreams better than I could practically make them come to life.

So now, I’m stuck. I’ve been doing more or less the same work for three years (the last 12 months have been utter torture). I have learnt nothing new; my bosses don’t understand what I could potentially do (bad communication on my part) and they don’t know what they could give me to do — other than the numbers. So, still stuck.

The trap is that some skills are hard to find and when unearthed will be plumbed for all they’re worth. This is when the stone grows mossy. You get angry about the lack of progression and the monotony of it all, but the superiors don’t care. The job’s getting done. You’ve added nothing to your skills so it’s difficult to take those advancing steps. The blackness creeps in, you get despondent, work less hard and you settle into your rut.

I’ve had this cloud over me for too long. Sick of it all, I decided to take charge. I want a rewarding career and am sick of being a corporate nobody. By chance, I came across this . It has made a world of difference to my attitude. In the end, planning my escape begins with this positive frame of mind: I am responsible for my happiness at work.

 

It All Starts at the Top

 

To me, company leaders are a way of marking the history of an organization. They’re the corporate equivalent of  tree-rings. The survivors bear the scars of everything that has passed and has shaped them into the beings that they are now.

The leaders in my company have had years and years of experience in the industry. As much as this has helped them push the organization onto its high perch, I think that this has bred bad behavior amongst the staff but also shuttered them from anything really new.

I think of it this way, we are social creatures. We imitate those that seem to be doing well for themselves. In my company the mantra is, “As long as the job gets done, I don’t care how you do it.” In such a dog-eat-dog environment with no moral scruples, it’s no wonder that so many people are disenchanted.

I read this article about “infectious leadership” and thought about our guys at the top: 

Link

The Window Seat

I don’t know if it’s just my state of mind but I feel that I’m being cut out of the loop. Invites to meetings go missing. Problems where I have particular expertise are handed off to others to solve. Do they know that my heart isn’t in it? How do I maintain the facade?

My moral compass is spinning. I want to be seen as a hard worker, a guy who’s willing to put the work in. Problem is, I don’t care too much for this company, I don’t have respect for (most of) its people and the way things get done.

Right now, I feel like the guy who’s sitting by the window, waiting for the first chance to get out.