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The Phantom Resignation

Big Frickin Wall 

I was venting, as usual, to a close colleague at work. She mentioned that one of the best ways to release the tension is to pretend that you had handed in your resignation that morning. It was supposed to free one from much of the day-to-day anxiety, as if the weight of the crap you were hauling were no longer there.

I can see a downside here. What if the resignation never really comes true?

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Soul Destroying

 Woe

Okay, I hate my job. I’m trying my best to get out – using networks, agencies, websites, the works. Even then, it takes time. There are a lot of dead ends and the last thing I want is to end up in another job I hate.

Until the magic day arrives, I need to put up with my lot, even though at times that is soul destroying. Sometimes it’s difficult to keep a perspective, given that my day usually goes like this:

Wake up. Feed baby. Give lots of kisses because I need the strength. Hug wife.

Slowly simmer between the front door and the walk to the train station, thinking about the job, not knowing exactly what I do (my job description, hopelessly out of date, is under review) and where, if any, my next step in the company could be.

Work up to a vigorous simmer as I slide through the revolving door. Gads, I don’t even like these people I work with. The have no moral compass and are willing to lie, cheat, and deal their way through the corporaton. They are smarmy, uncouth and cause much loathing.

Boil at my desk, thinking how I’m doing totally pointless things, not advancing my knowledge or even perhaps contributing anything to the glorious organization. Even my missives towards my manager are treated like a child’s entreaties. I often suspect that they may be waiting me out, unwilling to apply my resource to any meaningful task.

Then, comes the crucial part: what I can do to get me through to lunch. 

At lunch, drag things out. Go for a long walk, then visit office chums. Complain. Think of things that would get me through to 5pm. Usually involving printing novels I want to read (only those under Creative Commons licenses, of course). Bind them, time permitting.

5pm. Leave. Think of my beautiful boy and lovely wife and how the nights are too short and that the whole charade has to be repeated tomorrow.

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When Friends Leave

escape.jpg

Almost always, it’s the people you work with that stop you from canning a job you hate. It’s the fact that there are a bunch of like-minded individuals who equally hate:

  1. the direction (or lack thereof) that the company is taking
  2. the people at the helm who are responsible for 1.
  3. their job because they have to follow orders from 2.

This work clique can be a bit of a trap at times. Perpetuating the disdain for the job can divert focus away from trying to get into a better spot and just breeds the hatred. The group’s collective purpose should be to motivate and not to foster unhappiness. I’m stuck in one of those groups now. Thankfully, a number have left, finding new jobs. This, if anything, is a great motivator. I’m one of the few that are still stuck and heaven forbid that I become the last man standing. I need to get out of this place. 

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Keeping the Fire Burning

anger

I started writing this to create some focus for myself; to create some impetus to change.Yet, after the holidays, I find the fire has waned and the rage gone. I suppose this is the common trap. People stay in a job longer than they should and feel bouts or anger from time to time and do nothing about it only to feel sorry for themselves later. There’s no point in staying unhappy if laziness is the only thing holding you back.

To all those losing the rage, try and recall what it is you really want, take a photo, keep it under your chair and keep dreaming. Keep the fire burning.

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Obliterating History

Willy LomanI used to work in a department that numbered over fifty. We were formed through the merger of two companies and the thinking of three people. Our goal was to market the company’s products in a way that hadn’t been done by the organization before.

In the beginning, things were exciting. I had a great relationship (or so I thought) with the Director. I thought I had a great mentor to boost my career. Then, things changed. I don’t know what started the chain reaction, but soon people started losing their jobs. Two of the department’s founders were pushed out. Departments were sliced apart, thrown to Sales or left to fend for its existence.

Today, only a handful of those fifty are still in the company (including me). The Director barely speaks to me as he heads up the department he was after. The lesson here is to see the wave coming and plan for it. Pick a horse whose direction you know.

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