A Touch of the Crazies

Source: flickr.com via lonely radio

When I was in high school I used to wish that the accounting teacher would be sick on test day. I know it was wishful thinking but it meant not having to deal with what must’ve been one of the most boring subjects, but also avoiding the scrutiny that I always got from that class.

Well, the last two weeks felt like that. First, there was the employee redundancy. Thankfully, he took it sagely and with great maturity – better than I had expected. I admired his calmness but it also bothered me. So many questions arose.

  • Would I have acted as well if it was me on the other end?
  • What values did I have that would have held me through?
  • Did this match with the kind of place that I worked for?
  • Does the job really bring much in personal satisfaction?
  • What the heck am I still doing here?

The spiral was quick and inescapable.

This was soon followed by the departure of a senior head – a former caretaker manager, stolen by a rival company with a transplanted Financial Director. Again, the same roiling thoughts:

  • Why couldn’t it have been me?
  • They are planning to steal me sometime, right?
  • Oh, no. They’re not.
  • Crap.
  • Why am I still here?

After two weeks of madness, I knew I needed to break the spell. But where to go?


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