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A-Day

Source: flickr.com via @Mareen Fischinger

Announcement Day. A moment that the folks inside are anxious for, even though some are certain to know their roles and others are just fodder. Today, was certainly no different, which makes it kind of a farce. Essentially, people who have a job go into this meeting knowing that someone isn’t going to get a job and the brutal thing is about finding out who doesn’t. And then those who don’t have a job have a sense they don’t have a job but don’t know for certain. It’s doubly painful for them. A colleague in the same boat as me mentioned as aside that it was cruel that we were invited to the meeting – like it was being rubbed in our faces.

I missed that. I scheduled a discussion with a recruiter at the same time. Apparently they clapped for me after my new (old) boss talked about my decade of service. Asshole. He didn’t want me anyway.

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A Decision Made for Me

Source: flickr.com via @iz.mendoza

So it happened. On Monday, I was called into a room by my new (old) boss. There waiting for us was the dreaded HR lady. This could only have meant a single thing and I really couldn’t suppress my joy (gilt, of course by that pang about having to find a job). She started, “First, some bad news.” It was probably a line she’d used a number of times and me, I’m thinking, you are an utterly useless person who makes no real contribution to the company. I think I grinned, smugly, with my eyes.

As she continued on with her spiel (something about them not being able to find an equivalent job meaning that my role was redundant) I just tried to focus on putting on my cat face. I had thought days before about how I would react if I would be dragged into a room and the script read before me. I figured the best way would be to put on my cat face – unemotional, yet curious and in control. Through it all, I was just thinking, how much money?

I didn’t care what she said because I was out and really, I wanted to manage my emotions. The decision to leave had been made for me and the trip through the roiling emotions would be something I’d have to deal with. During the moment, I was happy and glad this happened.

So now, I’m starting from zero. Such joy!

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