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Self-Scrutiny

Source: flickr.com via @jess_and_her_camera

 

The first weekend after knowing and I’m relaxed. There is that monumental task (not really) of trying to find a new job but with the small largesse from a decade’s worth of service, the pressure isn’t so onerous right now. Times will change, I’m sure.

While all I really want to do is relax for a few months, I do feel that I have to make a show of looking for work. I did field a few calls from recruiters last week and since my online resume is quite sparse, I do need to work on that to at least receive the right offers. And trying to start that task is difficult. I can’t even recall when I changed job titles or even what I might have achieved in those roles. Really, I do need to document major work achievements a lot better.

So, I’m trying to remember stuff and my fear is really about coming across a little useless. I never really tried to work to achieve per se. I enjoyed the intellectual curiosity of work and not the seeming world-changing desires that reviews and a few peers seem to be fuelled by. It’s an interesting reflection and with a few senior people going to review my material (to provide constructive criticism, of course), there is equal parts procrastination, anxiety and fear pulling at me.

Only three weeks to go from tomorrow…

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