Throughout this job hunt (and I don’t know if it’s common) I’ve tried not to mention to anyone who I’ve been interviewing with and whether I was feeling confident about the job, regardless of my real thoughts. The only role I’ve actually ever directly interviewed for in the last three weeks I actually thought was darn easy. So easy that I walked into that interview thinking that the job was mine, that I was actually part of the business already. I even mentioned to some people the name of the company and how they could see me working in that industry.
So, it came as an obliterating wheel of karma that my wife saw the job re-advertised today. Since then my head has that emptiness like I’ve been wailing all day. I’m drained and I wonder where I’ve gone wrong. The recruiter had mentioned that I was the most senior person that they were interviewing and I’m guessing that probably played some part in it. I feel that there were questions that I fumbled and maybe my over-confidence played too strongly.
Now I feel like I cheated – thinking that the job was mine and that I would just waltz into that place being a golden boy. While inside I’m hoping it’s some kind of administrative screw up that the job is up again, I feel that this option is closed and I needed to learn some humility.