Looking for new work has been, for me at least, about dealing with the disappointments. Missing out on a role because of a gap in capability, or not gelling with the hiring manager or even just being an outright embarrassment in a case interview. Couple that with the pressure of money, the building sense of desperation (will I be working by Christmas?), and the feeling that perhaps I’m not any good, the mental tornadoes get quite awful. Doubt creeps in and that becomes quite a debilitating combination. You just want to wake up and blast bad guys on the Playstation all day.
But… there is always responsibility and duties to fulfil. If anything, wallowing in this isn’t productive. And with a great struggle, I blast out more applications this week and try to forget the things I said, pasting it over with the imagined things I should have said. That only helps if it happens again.
So, back in the saddle. Thankfully, I got a few bites this week. They don’t pay as much and aren’t in my target industries. However, it’s work. Right now, I just need to feel wanted and to do something with myself. That freelance career won’t just happen and a day job helps.