This week, I thought I came close to getting a job. So close. During the interview, I had the feeling that I couldn’t be passed over and somehow I had it in the bag. In previous job interviews, there was that trepidation, the fear that perhaps I wasn’t supposed to be there. This time, it was different. Could I have been too over confident?
In any case, I didn’t get the role. When the recruiter called me he mentioned that the other candidate had a little more experience in something (even though that something wasn’t discussed in my interview). In his feedback, he said I spoke well, had good energy and he couldn’t fault me. It just wasn’t meant to be.
So, I’m here dreading Christmas and the thought of not having any money coming in. It’s a big childhood dread, going without. Couple that with a severe reduction in self-confidence, displaced by an enormous splosh of self-doubt. Am I any good? Have I just wasted most of my career not keeping up to date and not networking well enough? All this, just compounding.
It takes a whole lot of effort just to keep myself upright. I could easily just fall and wallow but there’s family and the duty. How to keep standing when things aren’t quite falling my way?