(Source : flickr.com via @JennisWerner)
Unfortunately, that’s how I’m viewing this job. I’ve never really been a weekend-welcomer, someone who just can’t wait until Friday but that’s pretty much what I’ve become. I’m not pleased about it but my day brightens when I get home. It stays that way until the next day and so the cycle goes.
If my GM were to ask me if the work was satisfying, I would find it difficult to say the truth. Yes, it’s a job. Yes, it pays. That’s why I’m here. Just a body who can do the work but not really loving it. I can’t find any value in it for my future but I have to persist because of the money. That is just a terrible state to be in – doing the job just for cash. I’ve never been that way and faking a positive attitude and mercenary perspective just grinds at my conscience.
Knowing this, I’ve already started looking and thankful that a couple of recruiters have actually called back. This is a positive. Working and trying to find a more suitable job is a great place to be. I’m grateful for having this job but it really isn’t for me. I’m torn between thankfulness for the chance and the pain of having to be in an environment that I find no joy in.
I can only try and be positive and not disparage the firm and its people. I just need to find something else for my own happiness.