So, That’s Six Months

Source: flickr.com via @KellyPuffs

The clock has ticked quickly and it’s been six months of unemployment, ceaseless job search and rejection.

That’s half a year of no paychecks.

That’s half a year of missing office banter that provides the proverbial cherry on top to working in an office.

Perhaps most importantly for me, that’s half a year of not able to hone my thinking – no questioning, solving and just twisting over a puzzle.

Then again, there’s the Mr Mom thing. I had half a year of seeing a little one grow big and really, I couldn’t have had that with a corporate job. At least, not in the current climate. Yes, it’s my silver lining to the situation. And really, I think it’s half a year well spent.

 

Getting Back In The Saddle

Source: flickr.com via @jimmedia

Looking for new work has been, for me at least, about dealing with the disappointments. Missing out on a role because of a gap in capability, or not gelling with the hiring manager or even just being an outright embarrassment in a case interview. Couple that with the pressure of money, the building sense of desperation (will I be working by Christmas?), and the feeling that perhaps I’m not any good, the mental tornadoes get quite awful. Doubt creeps in and that becomes quite a debilitating combination. You just want to wake up and blast bad guys on the Playstation all day.

But… there is always responsibility and duties to fulfil. If anything, wallowing in this isn’t productive. And with a great struggle, I blast out more applications this week and try to forget the things I said, pasting it over with the imagined things I should have said. That only helps if it happens again.

So, back in the saddle. Thankfully, I got a few bites this week. They don’t pay as much and aren’t in my target industries. However, it’s work. Right now, I just need to feel wanted and to do something with myself. That freelance career won’t just happen and a day job helps.

“From a person with your seniority, we expected more structure”

(Source: flickr.com via @londondesigner)

I’ve fumbled a few second (and perhaps final?) interviews in the last two weeks. There was a case study this week and while I addressed it fairly, the wrap-up and discussion wasn’t quite what the company wanted. They needed something more high quality, high grade, ordered.

That hurts because I rated myself somewhat in my ability (and that it’s another job I could have had but didn’t). Then when you come to be tested and found short, it hurts. A lot. In the end, it means that I haven’t really advanced terribly much and the outside recruiting world was different in standard from what I was accustomed to.

I was in the doldrums about this but then I figure it’s something that I need to adjust. Stuck in the same job for too long makes you dull and this job search has forced me to think about being better. This drive to be not average is pushing me a bit harder and it’s a shame that I only realized it now.